“Unrequited love is a ridiculous state, and it makes those in it behave ridiculously.”
― Cassandra Clare
I had two unrequited love throughout my life, and I think that gave me the experience that I will need in my life.
I know it’s hard to accept that you love one girl/boy, and he/she does not love you. No, respond to your love, efforts that you put in to achieve that milestone. Although deep-deep inside, you think that someday you will be together, and your brain starts to make thoughts (a.k.a scenes of family, happy life, etc.)
Feels good and you know that you fell in love. The first time when you see this person, something inside of you sparks, and you start to show off, you don’t know why you are trying to act like that, but it comes without even thinking. Every word, every sentence told by that person will stay in your brain for a long time. It will work as an archive. When you go to bed for at least 15 minutes, you have to think about it, analyze, etc. We have to keep in mind that we cannot control it from the first try. It is almost impossible, let our feelings live.
Do not try to hide it or act like you didn’t fall in love. You are okay, you are bold and bullshit like that, you fell in love, you cannot do anything with that, but you can change yourself to accept that you guys do not match. It is for sure that you will try to impress that person in different ways, if that person does not feel anything towards you, what you can do, stay in your position for the rest of your life. Thoughts will kill you after some time; slowly but surely, you will lose yourself if you won’t fight.
I wish I could…
No, it does not work like that, even tho you told that person about your feelings, nothing will change, even though you impressed so what’s next, you have to accept the fact that that person does not love you, that’s the fact, as soon as you take it, it will be right for you. But I have some recommendations before you accept the truth. Those recommendations help me a lot to become free from endless thoughts.
Try everything that comes to your mind, invite to a date, flowers, or whatever, do whatever it takes, so in the future, you have to have no chances to say “I wish I could do this,” No fuck, come on, it does not work like that. Try to do whatever it takes, whatever comes to your mind. Because the feeling of losing is hard to accept, but before you accept it, try. I am saying try because your brain has to accept failure; as soon as it agrees to, you will feel what I felt “freedom.”
The drug, yeah, it is a drug because you will feel comfort straight from the first minutes of you meet that person because it is the way that how this feeling works, you will like it, love it and accept it as it is. You are unable to control it. As you see, it works like a drug, you want to know the person, feel her/him, and every touch is valuable for you.
Sad playlist…
Crying does help, as I have interviewed some of my friends. I didn’t cry because it is hard to cry for me, but most people cry by listening to sad tracks, watching sad movies, etc. It will help you release your anger, deep-shit feeling that you couldn’t do anything with that because it does not relate to you, you are just a person who FELL in love, as you see not rising in love, not skyrocketing in love, you fall, that’s the whole beautify.
You can scroll insta-sad feed, follow families and watch them for some time; it also helps some people get the deep-sad mood, so you there you can find a piece for a short time. You have to change everything from the bottom to the top. Because if you stay longer in this mood, it will become your comfort zone, getting out of the control zone has a high risk because it is hard.
Get yourself as busy as you can, and there are no limits; limits are only in your mind…
The next step that you can try is “Free your mind” yes, get busy yourself. You can start by making a schedule busy schedule for yourself, work, learn, study, read as more as possible, analyze your weak points, and sharpen your skills. While you are in this kind of situation, learn a skill, it is a perfect time to learn a skill you were thinking about. It doesn’t come to you. You have to go for that, that is why do something. Buy a course that you wanted, book whatever it takes to make you think about “love” less and less.
Gym or any sport would be a better option for you at the starting point because it boosts your confidence. The feeling after Gym is a priceless flow of trust to yourself, productivity, and sweet pain will make you as high as you can think. It does not matter whether you have a gym partner or no. Go solo. At least you have to do something in the Gym, pump iron, loose weight, gain weight, change something. If you don’t start it right now, you won’t reach that point anytime soon because you will be distracted, and your mind will try to show you that archive again and again.
Fight that depression…
Fight that depression. Once you start to fight, you won, of course, if you are bold on that and you are sure for at least 60% that you win this batter. It is not an endless battle. When you start, you will have that kind of thought that it will stay with you for the rest of your life, but I know that is bullshit, believe in yourself, boost your confidence, make sure that you will do you will win it.
Depression does not come to you from anywhere, and you want that. It gives you pain and satisfaction. That is why you like it and hate it at the same time. I know people who always say, “life is shit” if you tell them to change something, they are like, “no, it has to come by itself,” fuck off it is not Disney; it is life. That’s why try to communicate with “non-toxic,” “non-sadass” people, find an environment that will give you joy and a lot of laughs.
You are the creator of your memories…
You are the creator of your memories. Make them as beautiful as you can. Imagine that your life from that point is a movie. You want to show to the audience a masterpiece, so make it as right as you can, life is beautiful, start, act and do whatever it takes to make it “oh, that masterpiece gives so much satisfaction,” yes, because it is POSSIBLE. Live long, be happy, shit happens in life, obstacles are our friends who teach us suitable lessons, sometimes they are pretty expensive, but it is what it is.
